dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
