at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
