Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.

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(216): View more from Ohio

She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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(541): View more from Oregon

theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

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(425): View more from Washington

The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.

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(240): View more from Maryland

So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"

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