I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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