Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
