Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize