I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
