btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
