i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
