So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
