maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
