You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
