smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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