you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
