she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
