I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
