i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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