How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
