it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
