Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize