I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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