He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize