I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
