No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
