After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
