whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
