Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
