that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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