I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
