Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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