you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
