The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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