please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
