My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
