I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
