My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
