Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
