He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
