I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
