Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize