So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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