The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
