oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My breasts were aching with rage.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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