I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
