Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
