I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
