I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
