My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
