I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
