Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love having hate sex.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
