just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
