talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
