I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
