I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
