Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I smell stomach acid.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
