I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
