quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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