Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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