My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
