Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
