Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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