i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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